


Knowing Me, Knowing You

by JetGirl1832, tomatopudding



Series: My Heart is Too Big to Love Just One of You [12]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Drama, F/M, Family, Flashbacks, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, polyamourus relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 11:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12933900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/pseuds/JetGirl1832, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatopudding/pseuds/tomatopudding
Summary: So John may have left out a few details of his relationship before they all went to meet his parents. But if it went okay the first time, maybe he can hope for the best? It's not like it he can keep it a secret forever.





	Knowing Me, Knowing You

It was a long trip to South Carolina and John got more nervous with each passing minute. This was it, this was the meet the parents moment, when his parents were to meet Alex and Eliza. Not only that, John had been so nervous about this meeting that he had been putting off explaining a poly relationship to his parents, which definitely not helping with his nerves.

Granted, his parents had been okay with his whole coming out in high school, but even that there were some things left out. And, okay, they were things that he didn't figure out until a few years later. He half wished that he had kept his parents updated on his identity discoveries. Only half. It was awkward enough the first time around. 

\----------

John had a revelation. Actually, that wasn't quite true. He had always known in some way or another, but now it seemed a lot more real. Usually when he had dirty dreams, he couldn't see anything specific, but this time he had and had been Francis. Francis had been his best friend since kindergarten. It seemed so obvious now. He'd never been interested in girls that way, hadn't even felt a stray sexual thought about a girl, no matter what he had felt the need to brag about to his friends.

But he'd never talked to Francis about anything like that, and the idea terrified him. What if he screwed everything up between them?

In any case, John had concluded that he was gay and he was absolutely terrified to tell his father. They lived in a fairly conservative area and he knew some of his other classmates whose parents were openly homophobic. 

It was times like these that he really hated his home state of South Carolina.

 

John had prepared as much as he could, making some surreptitious trips to the local LGBT-friendly youth facility to get some pamphlets and tips on how to come out to potentially unsupportive parents. Today was finally the day that he decided to take the leap. 

He figured after dinner would be his best bet when most of his siblings were doing their homework, and his father actually relaxed from the stress from his day at work.

 

He found his father sitting in a easy chair reading the newspaper when John approached. 

“Fath--dad,” John said, deciding at the last moment to go for a more informal approach. 

 

"There's a new exhibit coming to the museum about Da Vinci's anatomical drawings," Henry said, "we should go this weekend. I know you're interested in that stuff."

"Sounds fun," replied John, "Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Henry lowered his paper, "Alright Jack, what is it?"

 

John's heart was pounding so hard that he could feel it in his throat. He have looked terrified because Henry put his paper aside completely. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry creeping into his tone. 

 

John was beginning to lose his nerve, this was it.

 

"Dad, I'm gay," he blurt out, rushing to continue before his dad could say anything, "I've never liked girls, but I think I like Francis and I just wanted to tell you so you'd know."

Throughout this all, John had kept his eyes on the floor and now he squeezed them shut, waiting for the blow up he felt was inevitable. 

"Okay."

John looked up at his father, "Okay?"

Henry only looked mildly uncomfortable. 

"I can't claim to understand it," he said, "but I respect that you feel this way."

 

John almost felt like he was going to faint at his father's statement, "Really?" 

To be perfectly honest he'd been mentally preparing himself for so much worse.

"You're my son, Jack," Henry said, as if that explained it all. 

In the following days, John was on tenterhooks waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it did, it was completely opposite to what he had thought was going to happen. Suddenly, their entire house was filled with rainbow flags and other LGBT-related things, a PFLAG sticker even appeared on the family car. 

 

Needless to say John was a little shocked, as he happened to go outside as his dad was applying the sticker to the window.

 

\----------

"John? Jooooohn!"

John jumped with a start.

"Get lost in your mind palace?" Alex teased.

"I guess you could say that," John muttered, his face turning red.

 

"You're so cute when you blush," Alex cooed, "Even though it kind of covers up your freckles."

John rolled his eyes fondly. Alex was always going on about his freckles. From the first moment they met, freckles were all Alex could talk about. 

\----------

"Wow." 

John looked at the person who made the comment, "Wow what?"

"Your face."

John's face turned red. He'd had this class right after lunch, did he leave something on his face?

"Your freckles," his classmate added.

John felt his blush fade, "Oh."

"Have you ever counted?" the guy asked. 

He was slightly shorter than John and was looking at him with big, brown eyes. John noticed that his dark hair was just long enough to pull into a small ponytail. 

"No," John replied, "It would take hours. Who has the time for that?"

"I would make time," the guy shot back, "and I wouldn't care how long it took. Not when I would get to look at that cute face of yours."

John realized with a jolt that this guy was flirting with him.

And quickly the blush returned to his face, "Uhh... I'm John."

"Alex," his classmate replied. 

And of course things only escalated from there. It turned out that Alex knew John's roommate Lafayette, since they were both international students and soon the three of them, along with Hercules who they met entirely by chance, were hanging out together all of the time. 

The more time John spent with Alex, the more he started feeling an odd tightness and tingling in his chest whenever they were together. But just like Francis he was worried to act on it, at least at first.

Unlike Francis, however, Alex wasn't quite so reserved and when he kissed John in the photo booth at Coney Island it just felt so right.

So much more right than anyone else John had dated till that point, and honestly the only person he truly wanted to kiss back.

It wasn't that he hadn't had boyfriends before, he'd had a few. And it wasn't that he didn't enjoy kissing, because he did. 

During his senior year of high school, John had done some research. He had noticed that he didn't quite feel the same things his friends felt. And it wasn't just because his male friends were talking about girls. Even when his female friends were talking about boys, he didn't quite understand what they were talking about when they discussed how boys made them feel. So John did his research and read pamphlets and he came to the second revelation of his life. He was not interested in having sex. In general, when he'd had sex with his previous boyfriends, he'd done it because he felt like he had to, like it was expected of him. But truthfully, he could take it or leave it. 

And that was how he had presented himself to Alex: homoromantic asexual. And Alex had been fine with it, had never pushed for more, which was why John was getting so confused with the way Alex made him feel. It was new and different, mostly exciting but also a little bit terrifying.

The first time John proposed having sex to Alex, it was Alex who had been more hesitant than John simply based on what John had told him.

But John wanted to atl east give it a shot, these feelings weren't nothing and frankly he realized he was enjoying when Alex would get a little handsy. Even if it led to a couple of times being caught in compromising positions.

When the night finally came, it was a resounding success. John had never before realized how good sex could feel. Sure, the previous times hadn't been horrible, but this time it was so much more real and emotional. John actually cried a little. That was when he realized that he was in love with Alex. 

He never expected Eliza to come along. 

\----------

"Your phone is ringing," Eliza said gently.

"It's my mom," John said as he looked down at the caller ID.

“You going to pick it up?” Eliza asked.

John hesitated, but he did eventually pick it up. 

"Hi ma," he said, "How are you?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Eleanor Laurens replied, "What's the ETA?"

"Soon," John promised, "We should be there in maybe half an hour or so."

"I'm so excited to meet your young man," Eleanor cooed. 

John cringed slightly. He had never told his parents about being poly. They had no idea that John was bringing someone in addition to Alex. John wasn't sure why it had been so difficult to tell his parents about this part of his life. He wasn't ashamed of it, he just couldn't figure out how to start the conversation. Alex and Eliza didn't know. 

"Yeah," he said weakly, "we're looking forward to it."

 

“See you soon, Jacky,” his mother added. 

 

John's nerves rose again for the remaining thirty minutes and no amount of soothing words from his partners could help. 

"Woah," Alex said in a hushed tone as they turned into the Laurens estate. 

It was similar in size to the Schuyler estate, but there was slightly more open land here since the estate had once been a plantation. 

"Welcome to Mepkin," John grumbled, barely audible over the sound of tires crunching gravel.

"Wow John you know you don't need to be so excited," Alex teased.

"Leave him be," Eliza scolded lightly, "He's just nervous."

She caught John's eye on the rear view mirror and he gave her a slightly wavering smile. 

When they made it to the front door, John saw his mother waiting on the front porch along side his sister Polly. 

"I should probably say," John started as Eliza pulled the car to a stop, "um...my parents don't know about the whole poly thing..."

John gauged their expressions, especially Eliza. He was glad to see she looked more shocked then angry, he'd seen her angry once and that had been more than enough.

 

"John..." Alex said, also not sounding quite angry, but maybe the slightest bit disappointed. 

"It's just hard, okay?" John defended, "It took years for my dad to get from just respecting my orientation to fully accepting it, and that was just when I thought I was gay. But bring in polyamory and his head might have exploded."

Before either of his partners could say anything else, they were interrupted by Polly knocking on the back seat window of the car. 

"Jack!" she squealed, "Get out here, Jack!"

 

Eliza couldn’t help but laugh a little at the girl who looked so much like John. Freckles across the bridge of her nose, hair pulled into pigtails with curls spilling out from each one.

John stepped out of the car. 

"Hey there, sweet pea," he said, already picking up the southern twang that he had worked so hard to cover up when he moved to New York. 

 

Polly threw her arms around John’s waist hugging him tight.

“I missed you,” Polly pouted.

 

"Missed you too," John said. 

His youngest sister was very soon distracted when Columbia made her presence known by barking as she bounded out of the car. 

"Puppy!" Polly exclaimed, running after her. 

"And just like that, you've been forgotten," Eleanor chuckled as she approached.

“Nothing compares to a fluffy dog who wants to play,” John sighed.

"You were the same way at her age," remembered Eleanor, "Every single time we went outside, every single dog we saw was the best thing in the world."

“Because dogs are the best,” John smiled.

“So you going to introduce me?” Eleanor have a knowing look towards Alex who’d stepped out of the car.

"Ah, yeah," John said, twisting his fingers together, "ma, this is my boyfriend Alex. And...our girlfriend Eliza."

Eleanor paused for a moment, "Oh?"

“Hi Mrs. Laurens,” Eliza held out her hand and offered her trademark Senator’s Daughter smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Eleanor said, all Southern charm as she shook Eliza's hand.

There were obviously questions waiting on the tip of Eleanor's tongue, but she was too polite to ask them.

“Well, let’s get your things inside,” Eleanor went towards the car, “I’m sure you’ll want relax after that long drive.”

As Alex went to the back of the car with Eleanor to greet her and help get their bags, Eliza put one hand on John's shoulders and he flinched slightly. She gently squeezed his tense muscles, but it didn't help all that much. 

“It’ll be okay, Cookie,” Eliza spoke quietly, “is they can handle you coming out, they can handle you being polyamorous.” 

“I hope you’re right,” John sighed.

It was then Columbia decided she’d had enough playing with Polly so trotted over back to John, and gently nudged his leg for attention. John chuckled and scratched Columbia behind her left ear, right in her favorite place. She had always been good in recognizing when John needed a little comfort from her.

“We should probably go inside,” Eliza suggested.

"Right," mumbled John. 

He signaled to Columbia to follow and began to lead the way into the house with her close at his heels. Eliza hooked her arm through John's as they walked, her mere presence and closeness a comfort.

After stepping inside the house felt less foreboding, as if he suddenly remembered that this was also his home. Home to lots of memories, good and bad. But still, it was home.

"Your other siblings should be home soon," Eleanor said, "Marti is picking up your brothers from basketball."

"Jemmy's playing too?" John asked, surprised, "I thought he didn't like sports."

Eleanor laughed, "He's going through this stage where he wants to do everything that Harry does, even if it's not actually something he likes to do."

John laughed at the thought of it, “Of course.”

 

"So," Eleanor said as she began walking towards John’s childhood room, "how many bedrooms will you be needing?"

John felt himself blush, "Just one is fine."

“Alright,” Eleanor nodded politely, “well then I’ll give you three some time to unpack your things.”

 

When Eleanor closed left them at the open door of the bedroom, John let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. 

"Um, so this is my old bedroom," he said self-consciously, gesturing with one arm. 

Alex and Eliza were both looking at him, the former with one eyebrow raised and the latter with a half smile. John sighed. 

"Okay," he said, "let's talk about it."

John went and sat himself on the bed, which squeaked slightly as he did so. 

"Okay, so first of all what the heck," Alex began, "How could you leave out such an important fact about our lives?"

John shrunk in on himself slightly. 

"Alex, hush," Eliza commanded, "It was obviously difficult for John to find a way to tell his parents."

"So you're taking his side?" Alex asked. 

"Yes," Eliza said sharply, "Just because your surrogate father took this whole poly relationship thing without even blinking doesn't mean that everyone else has the same luxury. You should know that."

Alex looked chastened and mumbled, "Yeah, I know."

 

Eliza went and took John’s hand, “Well, Cookie, you’ve gotten us this far.”

 

"My mom seemed confused, but she didn't reject us outright," said John, trying and failing to sound hopeful. 

Both of his partners knew that Eleanor wasn't who he was worried about. Instead of unpacking their things, the three of them lay cuddled together with John in the center until Eleanor called that Henry and the other kids were home. 

John took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's do this."

Eliza gently squeezed his hand, "Lead the way."

The soft smile Eliza gave John did boost his confidence slightly as the three of them exited his room and went to meet the rest of the Laurens family.

 

\----------

John still clearly remembered that day, a couple of days into their fall junior semester when Angelica made the introduction.

“Hey guys, this is my little sister Eliza, please be nice to her-“

“Annie...” Eliza rolled her eyes in response.

 

John looked at Alex in an attempt to share an amused smile and what he saw made his heart clench painfully. Alex was looking at Eliza like he couldn't help himself, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. It was the same way he had looked at John after every kiss for the first eight months of their relationship.

Luckily, nobody else seemed to notice as they were too busy introducing themselves to Angelica's sister. John turned away before Alex could see him looking. 

Soon they began to see Eliza more and more, and John couldn't deny how sweet she was but the way Alex was behaving now...something was up.

 

John was pretty sure he knew what that something was, but he didn't want to admit it. Admitting it to himself would make it more real. 

But he noticed all the time Alex was spending with Eliza, and he was beginning to feel jealous, but it was a different sort of jealousy. It was confusing.

 

Alex still looked at him the same way as always, they still kissed and cuddled and occasionally had sex when John was in the mood. Alex didn't do or say a single thing that indicated he was unhappy. 

At the same time, John didn't quite wish that Alex would stop looking at Eliza and that was the most confusing part. 

What did this mean? John had no idea what to make of any of the feelings he was feeling. Because if he thought about it he really liked being around Eliza too. And if he was truly honest it was more than the fact that she was sweet and a fun person to be around. Never before had he thought about a girl this way before.

So John did what he did best: research. After getting through far too many "Top Signs Your Man is Cheating on You" articles, John finally came across something helpful. 

"A new way to love," John muttered to himself as he clicked on the blog out of pure curiosity.

As he read onward, more and more things began to click into place. What he was feeling wasn't strange at all, it was simply that: feelings. John was developing feelings for Eliza. And it didn't make his feelings for Alex mean any less.

He could only conclude that this was exactly what Alex was feeling as well. So while this was all very new and different John couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. There was only one thing left to do, he and Alex needed to talk and figure out what the hell they were going to do next.

 

Of course, John couldn't help but be concerned about bringing it up with Alex. What if he was wrong? What if Alex wasn't actually thinking the same thing? What if John was just delusional? Well, then everything would likely be over and John didn’t want that either. Why was this so complicated?

"What's going on in that head if yours?" Alex asked, using his thumb to try to smooth the furrow between John's brows. 

They were cuddled together on John's bed, Lafayette was off on a date leaving them alone in the dorm room. John wasn't in a particularly sexy mood so they had eaten some greasy Chinese take away and had fallen into silence while Alex tried to choose something on Netflix to watch. 

 

“John...” Alex spoke up again.

John let a groan and flopped against Alex’s chest, half of him wanting an answer, the other half wanting to avoid it at all costs.

 

"It's about Eliza," John said tentatively. From his position, he could actually hear and feel Alex's heartbeat speed up. 

"What about her?"

John inhaled deeply, “I uhhh...” now he no longer had the words that he’d been thinking about for days. They were gone from his mind.

“I uhhhh... I was wondering how you feel about her?” John asked quietly, “And I want to know how you really feel,” he stressed.

Alex, who had opened his mouth to speak, closed it again and swallowed. 

"She's very pretty," he said finally, "and so sweet and..."

"You really like her," John concluded.

Alex sighed, "I can't help it. She makes my knees go all wobbly."

The way Alex spoke about his knees going wobbly made John smile slightly, it was cute.

“Would you hate me if I said I liked her too?” John asked.

"Well, she's very nice," Alex started. 

John chuckled, "No, Alex, I mean that I like her."

"Hold on, you like her?" Alex asked, "Like like her?"

"What, are you in middle school or something?" teased John, "But, yes. I think I might. I've been doing research about...polyamory."

Alex cocked his head to the side, “Polyamory?”

"It's like a relationship, but with more than two people," John explained.

 

John could tell Alex was mulling this over, “So we could be with Eliza and all of us be happy?”

“Maybe?” John shrugged.

 

Alex's eyes grew wide and a grin spread across his face, "Thank god!"

"Woah slow down," John reached out for his shoulder, "do you even know how Eliza feels romantically about either of us? Because I don't."

 

Alex deflated somewhat. 

"And there would be tons of conversations to have," John continued, "I mean, I feel something romantic with Eliza, but I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to her. And even if she does feel for both of us, the relationship between every two of us needs to be negotiated."

"You really have done your research," Alex complimented.

John awkwardly shrugged his shoulders, "The research junkie in me needed answers."

"So cute," Alex said fondly. 

John blushed, "So you want to talk to Eliza, or should I?"

Alex pondered this for a moment, “I guess I could talk to her,” he suggested, “we already had plans to meet up for coffee tomorrow anyway.”

John was wholly unsurprised by that. 

"Okay," he agreed, "Just to find out if it's something she would open to. I want to be able to talk to her one on one about her and my relationship if she's interested at all."

"Of course," said Alex, "and John? You know that this doesn't change anything, right? I still love you just as much as I always have."

 

\----------

They were almost at the living room now and John could hear the lower tones of his father voices together with the chattering of his siblings. He squeezed Alex and Eliza's hands to stop himself from turning around as they stepped into the room. 

"Hey," John said. 

"Jacky!" Henry laughed, striding over to pull John into a tight hug. 

John instinctively wrap his arms around his father. There was a time when a hug would mean having his nose smushed against his father's chest, but John and Henry were of more or less equal height so John had to settled for resting his chin briefly on his father's shoulder. Henry held him at out at arms length. 

"You look good, son," he said. 

“Thanks Dad,” John felt his face get warm and red, “it’s nice to be home.”

And John realized he really meant it, as much as he complained about it he did miss South Carolina when he was away.

 

"You're always welcome to visit," Henry told him, "whenever you want. Now let me guess, it was this young man beside you who finally convinced you to come and visit."

"Actually, that was me," Eliza said. She held out a hand, "Elizabeth Schuyler."

"I know your father," Henry said as he shook her hand. 

John blinked. He had absolutely forgotten that his father and Eliza's father had been senators at the same time. Of course they would know each other. 

"He always spoke about you and your sisters," Henry added. "And you must be Alex," continued Henry, shaking his hand as well, "John has told me so much about you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," Alex greeted politely.

 

Henry chuckled, "Polite. I like that."

"John taught me well. Usually I'm pretty tactless," Alex admitted. 

Henry full on laughed at that and clapped a hand on Alex's shoulder. 

"Honest too," he said, "Well, son, you sure know how to to pick 'em."

“Yeah I guess so,” John turned to look at Eliza and reached for her hand.

Henry glanced down at their joined hands. 

"Dad, Eliza is my girlfriend," John said, "mine and Alex's. The three of us are dating."

Henry said nothing for a long moment and John felt his heart pounding in his throat. 

Finally, Henry spoke, "Like polyamory."

John blinked, "Wait, what?"

Henry raised an eyebrow, "When you came out to me, I went pretty hard on the whole research thing. Where do you think you get it from?"

"I..." John stuttered, "um..."

"Not to mention," Henry continued, "you're not as subtle as you think you are. I know you, son, and I hear the way you talk about Ms Schuyler. Although I must admit, I never would have thought that you would be interested in a girl."

"It's purely romantic," John managed, his blush so deep he looked like he might catch fire at any moment.

“Nothing wrong with that,” Henry smiled, “Sometimes romance is the best part.”

Alex threw his arm around John's waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

"Told you there was nothing to worry about," he said with a grin.


End file.
